Monday, February 25, 2013

Five Months!

 Is it really the 24th again? My goodness, 5 months! This has been a great month for us. Our feeding is back on track and we've been busy, but not too busy!

You are such a happy, content baby. At this point I can take you anywhere and know you will cooperate. As long as I'm near and your tummy is full, you are just fine. You've definitely had some teething pain this month, but it mostly seems to bother you at night. There were a couple days where I thought you might be fighting a cold, you just weren't your smiling self. Nothing ever developed and you were back to yourself in no time. You love to chew and are getting really great at putting stuff into your mouth to chew or suck on!
We've had some beautiful days in the past month. We were out for a walk around the lagoon here.

You are a cuddle bug! You prefer mommy right now, but are happy to be in anyone's arms. You have started to nuzzle  which is adorable. Since birth you have been extremely tactile. Always touching and feeling everything. You love to touch me while you nurse and I have the little scratches to prove it. You love to pet everything and are always, always using your hands. You are also always moving your feet and love to kick your socks off!

January 26th-your uncle T proposed to your soon to be Auntie S! He had been planning it for a while and I don't think I've ever seen him more excited. Grandma helped him pick out the ring, and you and I waited impatiently to get any confirmation that the proposal was complete! He took S out on the boat they've shared many memories on and completely surprised her! 

January 31- I took you to UC Davis to participate in an infant cognition study. We were invited to participate soon after you were born, as they were looking for participants from your age group. I thought it would be interesting. It didn't take long, and you were very cooperative. You sat in my lap in a small room and I put dark sunglasses on so I couldn't see anything. In front of us was a pretty large TV. Beneath the TV was a camera, pointed up at your face. They showed different faces and were tracking to see if you recognized them. They were all different ethnicities  They showed you fun things in between the faces, in an effort to keep your attention. They'll be doing the research for a year or so, hopefully we can see what the results were once they are done. 

February 2- We attended a couples shower for daddy's friend, D. You got to meet some of his family and were on your best behavior. We wont be traveling to the wedding so I'm glad we were able to see them at their shower. 

February 3- Superbowl! Boy oh boy did we wish this would have turned out differently for our beloved 49ers. I still can't believe we lost. Daddy would not go to anyone's Superbowl party and did not want anyone coming over. You'd think he was playing! But, I can't even pretend that I don't get super into it as well and we were both irrationally devastated by the loss. 

February 9- A fun visit from your Auntie J. We had some girl talk and went to dinner. She brought you the sweetest outfit!

February 14- your first Valentine's day! You got several sweet Valentine's in the mail. Grandma and Grandpa were here for the weekend so we celebrated with them. Daddy brought me roses and see's candy. Yum!

February 16- We joined Grandma, Auntie S and her mom and sister in San Jose where we went bridal dress shopping. I didn't realize how much fun it would be! Auntie S is just so excited to get married and is a much easier-going bride than I ever was. We found her dream dress in about 15 minutes! She cried and we all got teary watching her! She is going to be a beautiful bride. You loved shopping and also loved all of the attention from the bridal shop attendants. It was a very special day and I'm so glad you were there, even though of course you wont remember. 

Eloise at 5 months!

Weight: 12lbs 8oz at 20 weeks
Height:   23 inches
Head:    40.2 cm
Diaper size- Size two disposables. We've just now adjusted the rise on the cloth diapers to the middle setting and leave two to three snaps unsnapped in the waist. 

Clothing Size: still fit in some 3 to 6 months but most clothes are 6 months now. 

Milestones:  In the past two weeks she has seemed more interested in rolling over.  She consistently rolls from tummy to back, but the back to tummy has only happened a couple times. Facial recognition is more obvious. Great hand-eye coordination. Everything is now getting put into the mouth if she can get her hands on it! She is especially excited when she can grab her fallen pacifier and put it back in her mouth. 
Voice tracking is really obvious at this point. Ellie lights up when she hears that her Daddy is home and seems to love to hear his voice. 

E loves to stand and bear weight on her legs. It's one of her favorite positions. She also loves to try to sit up. She does what we call baby crunches when shes in her boppy pillow and is able to hold herself up on her changing table. It's a little wobbly, though!

Ellie is pretty vocal and makes new sounds each day. Lots of cooing and little shrieks and now some giggles too!

Sleep:  we are still not quite back to sleeping consistently through the night. We had a few nights in a row, and I thought we were home free, but no such luck. B had to work some crazy early hours and I think it set us back because E was waking up when we was getting ready. This past week, she's been waking up once to eat and then awaking at 5 or 6 am. Our goal is to make it to at least 7 am. We're getting there. 

Nap time has been a nightmare since Christmas. E has refused to nap anywhere but in the car, sling or moby wrap, or on us. No crib, no cradle, no anywhere else. It works out ok when I'm working because she gets proper naps during the car rides, but it's got to change. We are now on day 3 of crib-nap boot camp and we are making some progress! 

We're also finally transitioning from the swaddle. No naps in the swaddle and we've done one arm out for the past couple nights in the crib. So far so good on that front. 

Favorite Toys: she loves to be holding things herself, so she loves this rattle with a small handle perfect for her current size.

We bought a jumperoo this month and while it seemed far too big for out little girl, she absolutely loves it. Right now she's entertained for about 10-15 minutes before she wants out, but what I love is that you can tell she feels like such a "big girl" in it. She always looks so proud to be in it!

Our friends got her this adorable toy and while E seems to really like it, I am obsessed with it. It's so adorable. I love the things that it says when you lift up the makeup items and I love that it has a mirror. I think E will like this for months to come.

Sunday, February 10, 2013


This post isn't about my daughter. But someday it will be.

Girls can be really mean sometimes. Girls know how to mess with someone's mind like none other. And I'll reluctantly admit that if needed, I can run some pretty insane passive aggressive mind games. Cold shoulder? I'm on it. Being exclusive? I've done it. Not proud of it but I know exactly how to do it. And that's why I'm VERY good at knowing when someone is doing it to me. I'm ten steps ahead of any girl in that department. I will own you.

But I don't want to. And I haven't had to in what? 15 years?! That's why, at 29 I'm pretty much stopped dead in my tracks as I find myself dealing with girl drama. And, as it turns out, so are a few of my best friends (who live elsewhere).

I'm lucky to have some amazing best friends (aka my bridesmaids). I talk to them all almost each week and try to keep up with them as best I can. But only one lives close by ( an hour away). B has a huge group of very close friends from grade school. They are all still friends and even most of their spouses also grew up together. B is literally loyal to a fault and would do anything for these people. I struggled a bit to find my place with his group, but slowly did and became pretty close with a couple girls, particularly in the last 3-4 years.

I wont go into the specifics, but very recently it became clear that there was some sort of problem. The passive aggressive stuff started happening. "Forgetting" to invite us to things that we'd always been a part of. The silent treatment. The distance just grew and grew. I'm not at all afraid of confrontation. I prefer it to all the behind the back bull crap.  I tried to arrange a civil conversation, but was brushed off every time. I reached out to some of the other girls, but no one really gave me any insight. One of them felt really bad and tried to help out but it was no use. Finally, after about a month of begging, I got together with my friend and tried to have the big girl conversation. Unfortunately nothing was solved or answered as I was met with denials, lies and general ambivalence. It made me regret insisting on the meetup because it felt as though it just made things worse.

It's very hard not to talk about it with others, but as the "outsider" I don't know for sure if anything I say wont be twisted and repeated. I've asked if anyone knows what the problem is, but again I'm met with no real response. It's beginning to affect B's relationship with his life long guy friends and that's not what I want.

The hard part for me is that any other time this has happened to me in one form or another, I just move on, hang with my true friends, make plans with them, plan a party, keep busy, but here that's much harder to do. And with E in the picture I'm really caring less and less about these newer girlfriends. My only concern is that B doesn't lose his buddies.

It's been interesting to discuss this with my own life long friends. I've been surprised to hear a few of them tell me that they, too are having trouble with girls lately.

What gives?

I know first hand that my oldest girlfriends are amazing friends and wonderful people. It hurts me to know someone is hurting them for seemingly no reason. All four of us have no idea what we did wrong or how to handle the situation. It's hard not to get frustrated and upset. I've definitely shed a few tears over my own situation, mostly because I just don't know what to do. And I don't know what to tell my friends to do either. I've always preached the "talk it out method" and assume most people are good, rational people once you sit them down for a non aggressive conversation. But my own confrontation just left me feeling worse so I have a hard time recommending it. One of my friends was having an issue with her girlfriend for the past nine months and just this last month finally got to sit down with her and hash it out. They seemingly sorted out their (her) issues, but my girlfriend still feels so much frustration over it and it doesn't look like their friendship will ever be the same. That's how I feel about my situation. I just don't see how we can go back to "normal" now that we've had this crazy hiccup.

And like I mentioned earlier, now that E is here, I'm so wrapped up in my family that I just don't care enough to keep digging for answers. I'm cordial to this person and see her at various events, but our close friendship is no longer and we hardly speak at all. We used to talk every single day.

I'm looking forward to meeting new friends and also making some friends with babies E's age. That's a whole different post. Meeting moms has been interesting!

I just had to get this out and would love to hear anyone's thoughts on this topic.

I just wish we, as women, would be kinder to each other. It's hard to make friends, it shouldn't be so hard to keep them.

Make new friends, but keep the old. For one is silver, the other true right now!