Highlights from our Baby Registry

The thank you notes are in the mail so I thought I'd share some of what we had on our registry and why. We chose to register at Target and Amazon. I'm not the biggest fan of babiesRus and while there is a new buybuybaby near where we used to live, I decided to keep it simple with target. I was surprised to see more people didn't take advantage of amazon, as that's my go-to for almost all things, but our target registry got hit hard, so I'll consider it a success.

I did all of my registering online as I was restrcited from shopping early on. The benefit was that I spent a lot of time reading reviews and comparing products. I had a handful of personalized recommendations from mom's I know, but for the most part I used my own research  (there are SO many newer products that my mommy friends had never heard of).

Here are a few things I'm really excited about!

1. Baby Bloom Bath- This is a soft, plush bath that keeps baby warm, rather than keeping them above the water in a sling type bath. It's perfect for the sink in the early weeks.  I also received a more traditional plastic bath at my shower and the bloom bath can be used in conjunction. It's easily washed and dried and can grow with the baby and be used in a bigger bath to provide comfort. The biggest plus is that is's adorable!

2. Snugabunny Rock n' Play Sleeper- We received the whole line of Snugabunny items at our shower. The swing, the bouncer and the sleeper. I'm super excited about the sleeper as it's portable and allows baby to sleep at a slight angle, which many babies prefer. I hear this is a life saver and many babies prefer it over a bassinet. We do have a pack n' play with a bassinet that we are planning on using, but I'll be curious to see what our little girl prefers. While the snugabunny line is not exactly my favorite design aesthetic, it comes highly recommended and is the more "deluxe" line of fischer price products and does look super cozy. I'm all about what works!

3. Baby Einstein Neptune Ocean Adventure Gym- Again, this is an example of a product that is not exactly my cup of tea visually BUT the reviews make sense. Babies are stimulated by bright, primary colors and this product is meant to stimulate and entertain. It converts to a tummy time play mat, with the whale being used as a booster under baby's chest. It also includes a mirror and and detachable toys. To me it seems extremely pricey, but we were lucky enough to receive this as a gift.

4. Aden + Anais muslin swaddlers- just about every single mom I know has recommended these blankets to me. We received 8 of these at the shower. They are huge, breathable an can be used as a nursing cover, car seat cover and of course a swaddler. They are so soft, too.

5. Comotomo Natural Feel bottles- I registered for three types of bottles. I'm not sure what our baby will prefer, but if she's anything like her mom she'll naturally gravitate towards these, pricey bottles. The reviews are great and when you see how these align in baby's mouth you really get the sense that they are as close to a breast as it gets. We did not receive these at the shower, but I plan on ordering them. While I plan on breastfeeding, I'll have to go back to work and will need a bottle our little girl will take to.

6. Ah Goo Baby changing mat- this was something I found while watching a "what's in my diaper bag" youtube video. I found it intrguging and the mom of three who was reviewing it said it was her favorite. I received it at the shower and while it's smaller than I would have guessed, the center is a soft memory foam which is pretty luxurious. It can be used as a play mat, tummy time mat or changing mat. It rolls up to be diaper bag friendly.

I went with my initial favorite diaper bag, the skip hop versa and so far I love it. We'll see how it does with a newborn.

Right now I'm still undecided on a stroller. Last year, I fell in love with the UppaBaby Vista, but when I went to look at it earlier this year, I wasn't as impressed. It's just so bulky and the seat seems so small. I'd love to have something we didn't have to replace after a year or so. Almost every mom I know has gone through several strollers and almost all of them have ended up with a B.O.B.. They all love their BOBs. Again, it's just too bulky for me. And believe you me-there will be no jogging for me.   While I was looking, I really liked the Bumbleride Indie, it's so much lighter than the bob and seems very well made, but I still wasn't totally sold. I've always been a fan of the maclaren strollers and will probably have a Triumph in addition to whatever stroller we end up with, if any at this point! For now I just have Maclaren's version of the snap n go with the car seat.

30 Weeks!

How Far Along: 30 Weeks of baking and it sure feels good!

Size of Baby as Relative to Common Household Fruit or Vegetable: Baby is as heavy as 4 oranges and is about 16 inches long. 

Weight Gain:  25 horrible, embarrassing ridiculous pounds 

Gender: Sweet little girl

Movement: More movement this week than last week. I can feel her even when I'm not lying down. Just little stretches and small movements. Nothing painful (thank you baby). 

Sleep: Getting comfy and falling asleep is becoming more of a challenge. Still up at least twice per night for potty breaks. 

What I miss: Missing my "freedom". Never realized how much I love running errands and cleaning until now. 

Cravings: sweets as usual-not good for this mama with gestational diabetes. Trying to enjoy the delicious summer fruit rather than baked goods or other treats. 

Symptoms: feet and ankles are officially swelling and my back is definitely feeling the extra weight out front. 

Best moment of the week: I usually don't mention this as a best moment, but our weekly ultrasounds are so much fun. Even though I'm usually a little tense, because after looking at baby girl, we then check out my cervix, I still enjoy watching her on screen. It's amazing how much bigger she looks. The computer predicts she is now 4lbs even. I thought that sounded huge but it's 75th percentile which seems about right. 

Worst moment of the week: Being pulled off work for sure. It brings so much anxiety. I'm already so worried about baby and now I'm worried about finances. I'm handling it better now though, I just gotta do what I gotta do. 

Next Monday is my follow up appointment. I really, really hope and pray things are looking better or at least the same. 

A Shower for Our Baby Girl

My shower was a lot of fun. I thought it was gorgeous. It takes a lot for me to be impressed with party details, etc--but I was blown away. I know my friends worked their buns off getting things together for this special day, and it meant the world to me. From the antique drinking glasses from my friend's grandmother, to the burlap runners and the fabric garland-it couldn't have been more "me". Even the flowers were perfect. Hydrangeas are my very favorite flower. Like I mentioned before we struck out in the weather department. It had been beautiful the weekend before and the day of my shower it hit triple digits. Not cool, but we had a beautiful indoor party with the A/C blowing on this melting mama. 

Still can't get over the gorgeous glasses. They made the tables shine!

I had to take pictures myself and spent too long on the wrong lens. I got too many detail shots. But this table was gorgeous. It was flanked with a gorgeous garland. The bird cake stand was gorgeous and made the favors shine. On the other end was an antique trunk full of favors as well. The popcorn inside the mason jars was homemade and perfectly pink! I loved this idea. And of course the perfectly girly cake.

I loved the fabric and the ribbons, and especially loved the tags. I know how long all this kind of stuff takes to do, and I don't know when my busy friends found the time. My heart was very full that day!

The mimosa bar was a HUGE hit and I just loved how cute they made it. I mean, look at the pitchers that totally echo the glasses on the tables? And the little labels and ribbons and sparkles..... My detail-loving self was very impressed!

The centerpieces were anchored with gorgeous silver pitchers and servers, along with smaller bud vases 

The fabric garland was my personal favorite, and it will find a permanent home in our nursery. It just set the tone so well, without being too "baby". I love every fabric they chose and will cherish it for years to come!

These were my two hostesses. They've done so, so much for us lately and the shower was above and beyond. Love them!

The food was amazing, but that was not surprising. My mom, hostess, N and a couple others pitched in and created quite the feast. Sausage cups and a cheese plate were served as starters and then we munched on a beautiful lunch of turkey sandwiches on Panera's sun dried tomato bread, Chicken salad sandwiches on croissants, Chinese chicken salad, potato salad, pasta salad, ambrosia salad and spinach strawberry salad with homemade poppyseed dressing. Yes--that is a lot of food, but that's how it's done in my world of family and friends. 

My mom's chicken salad sandwiches were a huge hit and I highly recommend the recipe. You can find it here. Yum!

A beautiful diaper cake, made by hostess, S. wrapped in beautiful swaddlers and full of baby goodies!

My favorite picture of the tables. So pretty!

Gotta have girly waterbottles for a baby shower!

B's cousin, A who was my bridesmaid and is really like a sister to us, made this adorable chevron quilt in baby girl's nursery colors. It's perfect. She is so talented!

Baby girl was beyond spoiled with wonderful gifts. I'd really thought that we'd just get clothes, but boy was I wrong. While we scored some gorgeous outfits, many of the gifts were so thoughtful and so useful. I forget that most of my friends here are moms and know what's up! We are totally set!

We had about 30 people for the shower. Here I am with my mom, my fabulous hostesses and my bestie and her mom. I had friends come all the way from LA to celebrate baby girl with us. My heart was overflowing the whole day. It went by so fast and I definitely didn't get as much time with everyone as I would have liked.  But it was wonderful and I will never, ever forget it! The nursery is a war zone but I'm slowly getting things in order. I haven't done much for decorating. It's difficult when you can't shop and don't want to spend a ton of money. I've got to get creative! I'm having a blast looking through all the gifts and putting all of her clothes away!

30 Week Appointment

I was not counting down to this appointment. I was not filled with nerves as I waited for the dr to come in. I was feeling great and while I wasn't sure how things would look, I wasn't stressing out. Dr. V came in and I noticed how short my cervix looked before he even traced it. The numbers came back 1.7 and 1.3. The funneling was back and it was all the way to the stitch. The screen looked dramatically different than it did a little over a week ago.

He said, you need to stop what you're doing. You need to cut out activities. "I have! I'm already doing that" He shook his head, ok well you need to do less, I don't like this change. His French-Canadian accent was thick as he told me, "You need to stop working". These were the words I did not want to hear. Money has been very tight as my work as been slow and I've already been cutting back. My savings is not where I thought it would be at this point because there just hasn't been much work for me. I explained to him how little I work and he just shook his head and said I needed to cut it out. I didn't ask any more questions about my cervix or anything. I was so unprepared this time for some reason.

The truth is, I know I've been doing too much. My shower was a little overwhelming and I've been over doing it on household chores and going out for meals while my family was here. I'm not sure why I thought I could do so much, but I think it's because I've been feeling really good and was just so tired of not doing anything. So now I'm back to permanently being planted on the couch. I"ll stop cooking the few meals I was doing each week and will rely on friends, family and B to pick up my slack.

I cannot get out of work for a couple hours Monday, and may have to do an hour or two on Wednesday. I know I shouldn't, but it's just easier for me to finish it out and then stop taking on assignments. I hope I don't regret it, but besides the drive, it's not much different than being at home.

I go back a week from Monday to see how things look.

Shower Sneak Peak...

I'm struggling to get a real post up, but wanted to share a few of my favorite details...

29 Weeks!

 How Far Along: We have made it through week 29!

Size of Baby as Relative to Common Household Fruit or Vegetable: Baby is the size of a cabbage, is nearly 16 inches long and about three pounds. I'm guessing our girl is a little bigger than that average. 

Weight Gain:  25 horrible, embarrassing ridiculous pounds 

Gender: Sweet little beautiful girl!

Movement: Her movement is not consistent, but as soon as I worry she gives me a little jab. They aren't as forceful as they were a couple weeks ago. 

Sleep: Not sleeping as well as I was. I have trouble staying asleep most nights 

What I miss: This week I really, really missed my grandma. Which isn't exactly pregnancy related, but it was very hard to have a baby shower without her there. 

Cravings: nothing noticeable this week

Symptoms: My back is starting to really hurt!

Best moment of the week: My baby shower absolutely blew me away. I had no say in it-which is so hard for me. I told them colors and they went to town. I'm pretty hard to impress and this was the most beautiful baby shower I'd ever seen. The colors, the details, the feel were just SO me. I've never seen anything like it and I know my girls worked their butts off getting it all together. I get teary just thinking about it. It was overwhelmingly amazing to have so many of my favorite women surrounding me on Saturday. The only thing I would have changed was the out of control heat!

Worst moment of the week: Can't think of anything too terrible except missing my grams tremendously and feeling incredibly hot all the time!

I'm working on a post of my shower! A photographer friend had planned on coming and taking pictures, and at the last minute got called in to her day job and could not make it. I was bummed because I didn't have time to capture all of the details like I'd wanted to. But I did get some great pics.

29 Week Appointment

I have today off and had scheduled a morning appointment with Dr. M. I was surprised to see how late they were running, but I was somehow able to keep my calm as I waited 40 minutes for the Dr.

The tech looked at baby girl before Dr. M arrived and all looked well. She is head down and face down and her head is right up against my cervix. I couldn't tell from her pictures whether my cervix looked ok, so I just focused on our precious daughter who looked so comfy and peaceful. She is getting SO big. I can't believe it. 

My fluids looked ok, still on the higher end but not in any danger category. Two weeks ago she said 24, last week she said 20 and this week it's 22. I think they start worrying when it hits 25. There's nothing I can do to control it, so I'm just trying not to worry. 

Dr. came in and took my cervical measurements. My eyes about popped out of my head when I saw 2.65, 2.8 and 2.5cm come up after she traced it a few times. Then they got a measurement of 4 and I said, "whoa-are you sure that's my cervix?" I could tell there was no funneling and things looked really good. They've been telling me all along that I have a "dynamic" cervix, meaning it changes with the wind- so they weren't too surprised at today's measurements--but they were still really happy about them. I couldn't believe it. Hearing good news at this point is really amazing. 

She said my restrictions were the same, but that this will hopefully calm my nerves and allow me to relax a little bit. My shower is Saturday-so I'm really excited!

Now the only stress I have is finding a dress to wear. Not being able to shop is a real challenge and my mail-order dresses have been total fails so far!

Is Cloth Diapering the new Breast Feeding?

Hot damn people like to debate on the most random things!

"We are going to cloth diaper"= so many ridiculous responses!

 I made the decision before we conceived Bremy that we'd give cloth diapering a try. I'd been introduced to the "new" way of cloth diapering and was in awe of how easy they were and how cost effective. I've been doing some research on brands, methods and do's and don'ts since that time. And after really thinking it over, I think it's a great decision for our family. Even B is on board after seeing several friends make it work. I'm a little nervous about the laundry and having enough of a supply--but all in all I think it's going to work. 

What I didn't anticipate was the backlash. I don't think I'd ever told friends/family that we'd be cloth diapering Bremy as we lost her before those topics really came up. This time, it's come up and I've seriously been met with so much judgement. Mostly from people who have no idea what's out there and how easy it is these days. Even my mom was really opposed until I showed her how they work. The thing is, as a first time mom, the comments kind of sting. What I've noticed is that this is a subject that people do not hold back on. Everyone seems to have an opinion and they seem willing to share it with me, even if it's really not very nice. What I don't understand is that it's not as though these particular people will ever have to change my daughter's diaper, so it just seems strange that they care so much!

I read this post before I received much backlash myself, but now that I'm getting the comments I can completely relate. It reminds me a lot of the breast feeding/formula feeding debate. Everyone seems to have an opinion even though they usually only have experience with one side. 

I'm working on my responses to these comments as they usually catch me off guard. I do plan on having a supply of disposables just in case, but am really hoping we can make cloth diapering work for us!

If anyone has any tips or suggestions I'd love to hear them!

28 Weeks!

How Far Along: We have made it through week 28!

Size of Baby as Relative to Common Household Fruit or Vegetable: Baby is the size of a Chinese cabbage and is about 15 inches from head to foot. She should be well over 2lbs by now!

Weight Gain:  19lbs. And I feel every. single. pound.

Gender: Sweet little beautiful girl!

Movement: Baby girl was head down this week and her movements are still sporadic. For several days, I felt her all day long, and then the last few days I only feel her when I'm laying down. 

Sleep: Sleeping like a champ. I have the nightly bathroom trips down to a science. 

What I miss: Still shopping. I cheated and went to target this week and really, really enjoyed myself. Even if I was looking like a creeper in my scooter!

Cravings: nothing noticeable this week-sweets and fruits still.  

Symptoms: Starting to feel uncomfortable in general. 

Best moment of the week: We had beautiful weather this weekend and I enjoyed a Saturday with my butt planted on a lounge chair by our friends pool. I got full pool side service and really enjoyed the view and the company. 

Worst moment of the week: I have a general feeling of uneasiness after my appointment last week. I actually called my dr's office and requested to speak to Dr. M regarding my appointment, as I wasn't completely trusting Dr. V's opinion. Dr. M called me back and really calmed my nerves. She took a look at my u/s pics and said in her eyes everything looked the same as last week and they took that as a good sign. She said to just keep limiting my activity and try to relax. I see her on Tuesday and I'm so thankful I don't have to wait too long to see what's going on. 

28 weeks was a huge milestone for us and I'm ecstatic that we've made it to see week 29. My baby shower is this coming Saturday-I'm so excited and hope that I'm feeling good and able to really enjoy it. 

28 Week Appointment

I don't know what to think of this appointment. I met with Dr. V, who I've seen about three times this pregnancy. He's extremely intelligent, and from what I could assess previously, is one of the more "conservative" physicians of this perinate group. 

My cervical length was pretty much the same as last time, about 1.75cm. But the funneling was worse. I'm not sure how to explain funneling. It's basically where the cervix begins to dilate from the inside out, but the bottom remains closed. My cervix is technically still closed, but if it weren't for the cerclage I'd most likely be dilated at this point. At least that's how I understand it. 

From reading SO much on the internet, the term "funneled to the stitch" has become part of my vocabulary. Unfortunately, the treatment for such is very widespread. I've seen everything from strict hospital bed rest to light duty, which is exactly what my dr.'s have me on. 

The Dr. took a look and said I was in great shape. He said, wow 28 weeks, this is excellent. And gave me two thumbs up. I asked, "Wait, so I'm now funneled to the stitch?" And he said yes. My eyes got wide. And I asked if I needed to be on bed rest. He said no, just keep doing what you are doing, it's working. He said he did not see a reason to change anything. In fact, he kind of alluded to the fact that I didn't really need to be a couch potato ( I told him that had been my version of light duty)  I was so confused I didn't even know what to ask or say. 

He just kept repeating, you are doing great, you are 28 weeks. Yes, I am incredibly thankful to have reached 28 weeks, but hello? I'd love to make it to the point where my cerclage is removed and I can have a "term" baby. I asked him what he thought my chances of that were and he didn't really give an answer. I know I need to focus on the little goals but I just cannot help but want a healthy baby who can come home with us. And at this point I don't want to do anything that would jeopardize that. While I really, really do need to keep working a few days a week to make ends meet and really enjoy being able to be home and not in the hospital on bed rest, if someone told me that was for the best I would do it in a heartbeat. I just don't want to create any problems for my girl. 

My next "victory" is my shower-a week from Saturday. Hoping and praying we make it well beyond. 

Dear Baby,

Right now you are kickin' me like crazy and I love it. Little faint jabs all over. I feel you moving every time I touch my belly. Just when I was saying you had stopped moving as much-you showed me!

I can't believe we have a painted nursery and an assembled crib. It makes it really, really real. I'm starting to realize how little time we have before you are here. I wish I was in a better condition to spend some fun, more adventurous times with your daddy. I wish we could have taken a little trip or do more dinners and movies,  but it's ok. We're at home with each other keeping busy around the house. Probably for the best!

You are pretty much all that I think about. Sunday we spent the day by the pool with Auntie A and her best friend, H who is also pregnant and due just a few days after you. H and I got lost in baby product discussion.  I don't know why it's such a fascinating subject for soon to be moms. It was just so nice to be outside and not feel so cooped up.  I've been told not to swim, so I dangled my feet and watched your cousins swim and let them splash me to cool off. It's hot this week!

Your baby shower is now less than two weeks away and I'm so excited to see everyone and celebrate you. Showers are kind of a strange thing. I know it's a right of passage but the whole gift thing makes me uncomfortable. I wish we were all set and could say no gifts or just bring books, but the truth is we actually need some stuff and we just can't manage to get all of the things we'd love to have to make your life and obviously ours, more comfortable. From the crib mattress to swings to bouncers and monitors--it's a lot. Luckily we have a lot of people who are able to make it and are so excited to spoil you. We've been very spoiled so far with lots of support and well wishes. You are already extremely loved by so many people. I know it will be a really special day for me. I  hope I don't get emotional--ut I just might! I never made it to Bremy's baby shower-so this is a big milestone and will also be another victory for this pregnancy.

I pray that you are growing big and strong and that your lungs and organs are forming perfectly. The Dr. tells me 28 weeks is a huge milestone for your development and I just hope we can keep hitting those milestones. Next one is 32 weeks but the truth is, each day is so important. Keep growing my sweet girl!

27 Weeks and 29 Years

How Far Along: I have officially made it through week 27 and am officially 29 years old as of Saturday!

Size of Baby as Relative to Common Household Fruit or Vegetable: Baby is the size of a head of cauliflower! 

Weight Gain:  19lbs. And I feel every. single. pound.

Gender: Sweet little beautiful girl!

Movement: Movements have lessened a little. She is back to breech position and I feel her little low kicks, but not as constant as I did last week when she was head down.  

Sleep: Sleeping like a champ. I have the nightly bathroom trips down to a science. 

What I miss: Shopping! Shopping and shopping. I love to browse stores, and I really miss my retail therapy. 

Cravings: frozen chocolate chips. The sweet tooth is not good! 

Symptoms: Moving pretty slow. 

Best moment of the week: My birthday was nice and quiet. My bro and his girlfriend came by and then my MOH, J went to dinner with us and spent the night. It was great staying up all night catching up with her.  B also put the crib together and it made my day! Walking by her room is such a treat. I can't wait to see it come together. 

Worst moment of the week: Friday night I got hit with the notion that this was my first birthday without my Grams. It hit me out of no where and it hit me hard. Grief is just difficult and I had a moment. Remembering all of the birthdays with her and all of our special times made me sad. Since she and Bremy passed within months of each other it's hard to think about one without the other. I miss them both so much. Last year on my birthday my family was in town and I was pregnant with Bremy. Pretty crazy to be pregnant again. I feel very lucky in that regard. 

Now it's a countdown to my Dr appointment on Wednesday. Just hoping things are holding steady!!

The Nursery

It feels really good to see the nursery progressing. Back when I was pregnant with Bremy, I had some inspiration for a bright, crisp nursery that was girly, but not in a typical way. The colors scheme was inspired by this onesie.

Carter's I Love My Uncle Bodysuit - Infant

I instantly saw aqua walls with lots of white furniture and colorful accessories that would pop.

I contemplated a different route for this baby, but nothing could compare to my original vision, and since I'd never actually gotten to work on Bremy's room, no one would be the wiser that this was a recycled idea.

Since we lost Bremy, it seems the aqua nursery has really taken off. It's no wonder as it's a really easy color to build upon and much less expected than a pink or blue. While I was initially disappointed that my so called original idea was now amongst the masses, I did love pinning away and finding oodles of inspirational pictures and ideas for this girls' room. This one has always been a favorite...

Another must-have that did not change between pregnancies, was my obsession with the white jenny lind crib. It's here. Just waiting to be assembled. And I can't wait as it's the perfect vintage touch for this more modern color scheme.

source

We also moved between pregnancies and had the opportunity to remodel the house we moved to. There are beautiful crown moldings throughout the house and the windows and doors are encased in beautiful white trim. It really finishes the room. I'd love to add some board and batten or wainscoting to baby girl's room but it's just not in the cards.

our paint color is clark and kensignton from Ace hardware in Lewisporte

To continue with the white, B's mom is having a vintage dresser refurbished and painted white. We'll be using it as a changer also, as we don't have much space to work with.

I'm planning on framing some prints from etsy to add some pops of color, and also hope to DIY this...tutorial found here

bulldog print found here

Last week we finally pulled the trigger and purchased the glider. B met me at buybuybaby and we tested them out. I had originally wanted the remote controlled recliner, as it was a smaller chair and would fit nicely in our smaller room, but B found it to be really uncomfortable, and I realized he was right. It really wasn't that comfy. So we did a bigger recliner. It's the tryp from Best Chairs and it's really comfy, but it is really large. I'm worried it's going to dwarf the room. We ended up going with a tan fabric, so that we could possibly use it in our family room later on. I had originally wanted green, but decided to play it safe. We saved some money with a coupon and I was out of the store in no time (this was a huge outing for me as I'm not supposed to be running errands or on of my feet). I already feel guilty for spending so much $ on a chair, but I've been reassured by several friends that it is a great investment and will be worth it for sure.

Here is a picture of the tryp chair. I think our tan fabric will be just about this color.

The real guilt is coming with the crib bedding. I found this etsy seller and fell in love with her work. I also fell in love with the simplicity of this yellow set (in different colors of course) and tried to mimic it by finding store bought pieces. But it's not happening. So I've been in communication with this shop and she's helped me find some fabrics that will work. After splurging on the glider, I'm struggling with this purchase, despite the fact that she's really reasonably priced. I know the nursery is exciting and is a great outlet to keep me busy, but the reality is we could get by with much simpler stuff. So I'm still looking and hoping I'll find something more budget friendly.

I can't wait to see all of these ideas come together!

27 Week Appointment

I met with Dr. M today and cervix looks about the same, but slightly worse than last week. It became clear that my cervix is "dynamic" meaning that it can change from long to shorter at any given time. It may even be longer next week, which is what happened last time. The funneling was more visible today. The measurements they took were 1.73, 2.2 and 2.6 cm. She said she was still pretty hopeful that I would do ok and make it to the 36 week mark. But, she reminded me that it's all about baby steps and her next big milestone for me is 32 weeks.

What's hard for me is that I want so bad to make it to "term" aka 36weeks plus. I just want to lessen the trauma of this pregnancy and it's delivery. So many friends keep reminding me how wonderful reaching 28 weeks will be, how it will be wonderful if I make it to 32 weeks, etc etc. And I know this. Believe me, I am so grateful to have made it this far and to know baby is still in there growing and developing. But I want the whole thing. I want a full term baby so much. I guess I should rephrase, I want a healthy baby SO much. If she's healthy at 34-that's totally fine. I don't want my baby to struggle, I don't want to see her fight for her life. I just really want to take my baby home with me when I leave the hospital. I know the NICU at our hospital is fantastic, but I can't help but want things to be more "normal". It's hard to balance being grateful for each day, and want it all. I do wake up each morning and smile, knowing I've made it through another night and then other times, I think of how far we have to go. The best thing is knowing that each day I carry her, the better chance she has. I'm just trying my best to focus on that.

One other issue that was addressed at this appointment was my amniotic fluid. It was measuring above the normal amount which is apparently a complication of my gestational diabetes. My sugars have mostly been really good, but they explained that it's an issue with my placenta and hormones, etc, etc. There could potentially be some issues down the line if it gets bad, but for now they are just going to monitor and see. There's nothing I can do about it so I'm trying to just let it go and hope it doesn't turn into a scary issue for me. The Dr. explained the only immediate concern is that I'm carrying a heavier load and that's not what we want given my cervical incompetence, so it's just one more reason to take it easy.

I've been doing a really good job of resting. I work a couple days, do very minimal stuff around the house and sit and lay down as much as possible. Our friends, family and my hubs continue to be a huge help.

I'm not sure what to think after this appointment. I'm kind of taking it as everything is looking about the same. I just hope it continues. I've been feeling great-no pressure, no contractions. So I'm just going to continue to take it day by day and celebrate each morning with a baby in my belly!