The Story of A&B Part V: Life isn't always a Fairytale

Part I

Part II

Part III
Part IV

Make a Wish image: here

After our first date weekend we continued to talk every day. We were both pretty giddy with excitement and we each commented on how it felt as if we'd known each other for years. We made each other laugh, we had similar core values and beliefs and there was definitely chemistry. But after a few more weeks had gone by and we had concluded we were official and exclusive I started to feel as though we had moved way too fast. I was finding myself holding back from saying the L word only because it just seemed too soon. We both had almost said it quite a few times and by the one month mark I started to worry that we were assuming we knew everything about one another, even though it was impossible. I started to feel scared.

Of course I realize now that part of the reason our relationship does work so well is because I can tell B anything. Absolutely anything. And so I told him. I told him I was scared. I told him it was too soon for us to be settling in. I wanted to be wined and dined. I wanted some mystery. I wanted him to court me. "You want games, " he stated. My contorted facial response insisted I was confused, "of course I don't want games! I love that you don't play games!" But (as usual) he was right. I was used to the guy who didn't call back. I was used to the guy who didn't want to call me his girlfriend. I was used to the guy who told me he liked me but never treated me like it. I wasn't used to this perfect companionship. I wasn't used to his honesty and sincerity. I wasn't used to being so loved. Especially at this rate!

"Look, " he told me in a pretty serious tone, "I'm over the games. I like you. I'm pretty sure that I love you. I'm pretty sure that I would marry you right now, today. I'm not going to pretend that I'm someone else, because this is me. I work hard, I like the simple life and I don't want to pretend that I don't. I don't want to set you, and myself up for a big surprise when life does get back to normal. Life isn't always a fairytale. This is me." He should have added, 'take it or leave it' but he didn't.

Let's just say I loved this movie!

Enchanted Image: here

We were in his truck during this conversation, on our way to lunch with a "pit stop" to get his oil changed. Since this was only our third official date I had sort of turned my nose up to his plan for the day. I wanted him to take me somewhere fun, I wanted him to have a picnic set up or some sort of excursion planned. The real deal was that I wanted something really exciting to report back to my girlfriends! I wasn't thrilled with this response, but again, I was incredibly grateful for his honesty. So as he kissed and held me outside Jiffy Lube my cares for what others would think of him drifted away. I was at peace despite my ridiculous law school schedule. I felt so at home and so enamored with the way he made me feel. And then, once we got back into his truck he took me for a long drive and finished off the day with a very romantic tour of a town I'd never visited.
As we made the trip back to his house late that night, holding hands in silence, I closed my eyes and started to realized that his could be the only hand I'd ever need. I made a wish and sent a prayer. The next morning as we made breakfast together, I told him I loved him.

The Good Life

I'm so happy to be done with school. I've had some minor anxiety about the bar, but for the most part I've been enjoying life for the past three months. I love being able to work, come home, make dinner, play with the dog, and basically do what I want without constantly feeling as though I need to study. B and I are able to have entire weekends together! No running off to the library or ending a movie early so I could get back to my work. I can't describe how nice it feels. image

Today we took our time grocery shopping for the week. I walked with Mav and looked up new recipes on Food network. We each did our chores around the house and in the yard and I made paninis for dinner. B went to bed pretty early so I got caught up on all of the laundry that needed folding.

I feel very fortunate that B helps out with almost all of the cooking and cleaning in some capacity. But he never folds the laundry. He claims he doesn't know how. For the most part I find it relaxing to put a movie on while I put his work pants together and stack our towels. It can be overwhelming, since it's generally a task I save for one day a week, but luckily our guest room serves as our second laundry room as well.

Last week I came home from a dinner meeting to find my jeans stacked strangely on the kitchen table. I stopped in my tracks, trying to remember if I had left them there. Then I saw his pants nearby, folded the same way. "You folded the laundry?!" I screamed! Maverick was nearby, "Did you do this?" I asked him (yes, I talk to him as though he can talk back), "because surely B couldn't have folded laundry!" I heard B laugh from the other room. "I tried!" he said. Of course I ran in the room and attacked him with thank you kisses. I love when he does stuff out of nowhere. Alas, he hasn't tried again, and tonight the loads of darks were left to me. I never thought I'd enjoy doing laundry on a Saturday night, but somehow it was the perfect end to a very good day.

The Story of A&B, Part IV: When the Moon Hits Your Eye

Part I
Part II
Part III

So here I was, committing every first-date "don't" and loving every second of it. I have to admit that at the time, I wasn't even close to thinking that B was "the one". Probably because I wasn't really looking for the one at that point in my life. I was looking for fun, for something new.

On the other hand, I have to say I don't remember another soul in existence that night. I was fixated on him. He took me to Mexican food (absolute favorite) where we ordered the same thing. Before our dinner came, there was a moment of silence. A moment where we just stared at each other. He broke the silence with, "you look so beautiful". It was one of the best things anyone had ever said to me. His eyes circled my face and beamed as he spoke. I leaned back in my seat and let out a half-laugh and thanked him. It wasn't something I heard often and the way he said it was unmistakably genuine. I'd later learn that matter-of-fact comments like these would be a major reason I'd eventually fall deeply in love with this man. But on this night, it just sent my heart aflutter as I sipped my diet coke.

We saw a movie, we came back to his house and I spent the night. Yep. Normally a very bad move, but like I said before-something felt very right. Not to worry, no major boundaries were crossed that night. Just a wonderful night full of kisses and long, long conversation.
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The next morning I was headed to my best friend's birthday. We were up early so B could make it to his softball tournament. As we pulled away from his home in separate cars, he blew me a kiss and waved eagerly. I remember taking a really deep breath as I drove away. "Slow down" I whispered to myself, "slow down!"

We texted while I was away and I called him the next morning as I made my way home for a study group meeting. Not long after I hung up I got a message from one of my classmates, our study group was cancelled. Without a thought that I might seem overeager I texted B: study group cancelled. Without missing a beat I received a text back: come over for dinner. When I arrived a table was set for two. Two plates of spaghetti and a single lit tea light. A naked, votive-less tea light. Such a small, almost pathetic touch that made the dinner so special. It was obvious B was no ladies man, but in those two days my suspicions were confirmed: he was the nicest man I'd ever shared a meal with.

The Story of A&B Part III: You Had me at Bear Hug

image source: here

read part I here

read part II here

I realize how horrible this sounds, but DF and I often preface our first date story by admitting that it sounds like the intro to one of those 48-Hour Mystery shows. You know, the ones where the highly rational law student disappears when she secretly meets up with random no-profile picture Internet boy? Where the best friend is shown tearing up as she explains that this was completely out of character. Cue dog search scene, childhood photo montage and the slow-talking narrator and you're hooked.

Needless to say my risky, completely out of character behavior paid off. But I still get raised eyebrows when I give the details of our first meeting.

After two weeks of incredibly lengthy and intimate phone conversations things were getting too intense. I started to feel as though I really, really knew him, yet, the lack of physical knowledge was becoming overwhelming and, well, kinda weird.

Looking back I'm not sure why we didn't just meet up for a quick bite. I guess we both knew that whenever we did finally meet, there wouldn't be anything quick about it. Unfortunately the upcoming weekend wasn't looking very good for a date. My best friend (MOH) was having a huge birthday bash. She lives about two hours away, so I was trying to decide what to do.

Luckily I was able to convince DF that a Friday night date wouldn't be so bad. He had been hesitant to do anything on Friday because he usually worked pretty late. Fortunately he was able to get away in time to prep for our very first meeting that particular Friday. DF's home was about ten minutes away from my apartment. Since I knew he would be rushing home from work, I offered to meet him at his house so he wouldn't have to pick me up.
I know.

Honestly, I have NO idea how this became the plan. I would NEVER advise anyone to do this. Hello? Danger! Danger! Right? But for some reason I had absolutely no doubt that DF was the most genuinely honest and sincere man I'd ever spoken with. Aren't serial killers usually really convincing? Yeah--I realize how it sounds. But there was just something inside of me that made it seem completely normal.

So Friday night. I'm prepping for my date and also packing for my trip to visit MOH for her birthday. My plan was to leave from our date and drive out to her house late that night. She was the only one who knew about the date--and she insisted on knowing all of his information (good, level-headed friend!)

I called her as I made my way over to his house. I wasn't scared nervous but I was giddy nervous. I pulled up and the house looked dark. I told her I was hanging up. I was walking to the front door. She said she was calling me back in five minutes.

As I gathered my gift for him (homemade chocolate chip cookies) I saw the blinds in the front window move. Oh God! He's watching me! I started to feel actual nervousness at this point.

He opened his door with a huge bouquet of pink roses. I don't even think we said anything at that moment. There was about a quarter-second where I questioned whether it was him (I had only seen one very old, very cropped picture).But before I knew it I was wrapped in a bear hug on his front porch. I've never felt a bigger shift of emotions than I did in that moment. I went from anxious ball of nerves to instant ease and comfort.

He ushered me inside and gave me a tour of his house. Then suddenly, we shared our first kiss. I know, I know. This date is so ass-backwards: we talked on the phone for way too long before meeting, I showed up at his house, now I was kissing someone before they even bought me dinner! But let's just say that I'll never, ever forget that moment. We still talk about it with a certain glow.

The Story of A&B Part II: The Butterflies

Read Part I here.

In the week following our initial email exchange future DF and I spoke on the phone every single day. The first time he called was on a weeknight. I was a first year law student at that point and literally had about one hour of down time before I went to bed. I spent three talking with him that night. The conversation was effortless.

photo: flickr

As the weekend approached, I began to expect a date. Picking up on my anticipation, he apologized and told me that he was hosting a poker party that weekend and wouldn't be able to meet up until the next weekend.

"Um?" I responded, "you're having a 36 hour poker party? You can't find a moment to grab a coffee or something?".

He laughed, "I know, most guys do a coffee date, but I already know I want to take you to dinner. Believe me, I'll be ready to take you out next weekend." I was a little confused, but didn't let it get to me. I had no plans for that weekend, so I logged on to match and opened another forgotten email. Responded. Had a date. Went on date. It was the worst.

As I was walking away from failed date with guy #3, I flipped open my cell phone and started to dial DF's number. I knew he'd get a good laugh out of this awful guy. I remember pausing just before hitting "call"-realizing that it was entirely inappropriate to complain about failed date to a guy I'd never met...so I scrolled down and dialed MOH.

I did speak with DF that night. He called me late. "Aren't you at your poker party?" I asked, hearing voices and music in the background. Apparently he called me as soon as people started leaving. I could hear him telling people he was talking with me. They seemed to know who I was!I melted. I knew that we were both on the same page. That night we talked until five in the morning.

The butterflies started that night.

I didn't tell anyone about it, it almost felt like it wasn't really happening. Who does this? I thought every time we would finally hang up the phone. Needless to say, I was dying to meet him. Would I really have to wait another week?

The Story of A&B, Part I

Within two hours of being at work this morning about ten different things when very, very wrong. I was running in about ten different directions when I got a call from DF. He told me he was waiting outside my office. Since our door requires a pass, I ran out to see what was up. We often go to lunch together, but it was a little early. I was kind of annoyed, but also glad to escape the chaos of the office for the moment. I saw the flowers before I saw him. A beautiful purple hydrangea plant in a gorgeous brown basket. Tears came to my eyes as I realized that he had remembered our three year anniversary.
source

Originally, I didn't intend for this blog to get very personal, but I have enjoyed others' posts about their relationships and their own love stories, that I thought I'd give a cliff notes version of ours (ok, turns out I went into a lot of detail-so I decided to break it up so it's not a novel)

I've mentioned before that DF was the fourth person I met through match.com. MOH and I joined match together when we moved to Northern California from San Diego. I was living in a brand new city, my new roommate had a boyfriend and I was bored, curious and in a place where I was very open to new possibilities.

I actually really enjoyed the first two guys I met on match. The first guy wasn't looking for anything too serious-we went out a few times, had our fun and realizing we were both "just looking"-we moved on. Guy #2 was a total sweetie. Or so I thought. He took me on a really great date-very well thought out, very romantic and very fun. I was totally into being wined and dined. We had a pretty immediate physical attraction, but our conversation wasn't the best. When he cancelled our plans to meet again I was kinda bummed.

Ok, I was a lot bummed. The night that I was supposed to be out with him (he cancelled the day before) I was home alone and feeling pretty pathetic for being so upset about a guy I barely new. I logged on to match and started to read some emails that I had previously ignored while I was busy having fun with guy#2. I saw a short and simple email complete with happy faces shaped like baseballs. While I thought this guy was probably not looking for anything serious (his profile had one very cropped, very blurry picture), I decided to write back. I got a response about twenty minutes later. Yeah-definite creeper, I thought. He's home on a Saturday night too? But, we were instantly exchanging witty emails. He already had me laughing--and intrigued. After three emails back and forth I realized I was flirting via Internet! I went to bed that night with a smile. I was completely caught off guard by this short but sweet exchange.