The End of an Era

One of Daddy's accounts sent us to Hawaii right before your 2nd bday. Grandma came and stayed with you and the plan was to have weaned you before we left. Welp. That didn't ever happen. Not even close. If we're being honest, you probably nursed more in the week leading up to our trip than you had since you were an infant. It's like you knew they were going away. I didn't say a word about it. At this point you understand everything and I just didn't think getting you upset and then leaving would help at all.

So it was cold turkey.

I knew you would be fine with grandma and grandpa, it was coming home that I was worried about.

We got home very late on Sunday and when you woke up Monday, I opened your door and immediately took you into the kitchen so as to avoid the glider. You were distracted for a good 30 minutes and then it hit you.....ninnies (what you call them). I told you ninnies were all gone, that ninnies had to go byebye.

With tears in your eyes, you looked up at me and said "ninnies byebye?" I said yes and you buried your head in my chest and cried. With tears. "byebye ninnies" you said, over and over. And over.

But then you got over it and ate your breakfast.

The hardest time was post-nap. You had a fit and tried your best to convince me. I'm really glad grandma was still here because otherwise I definitely would have given in.

I wasn't 100% ready to be done but I also knew I had to take advantage of the trip and the time apart. Each day has gotten easier, but now three weeks later, you still occasionally ask. You still say "byebye ninnies" whenever I tell you they are all gone. Last week I was getting ready to get into the shower. So you saw them. Your eyes lit up "ninnies!!" like...hey mom, I found them! But I just keep saying the same thing and you said byebye once again.

We made it almost two years, kid. Wow what a ride. I have to say it's pretty nice and quite the time saver to not be nursing now, but I miss our morning and night time snuggle sessions immensely. It was a great time out for both of us. I think you miss that time too and I've been trying to make sure we get some good loving in each day.

 Now that I'm not nursing I cannot imagine never nursing. What an amazing connection we have thanks to breast feeding. I know we would have had a connection, obviously, but nursing and now not nursing really makes it clear that it is a beautiful thing.

It was not always easy and there were times I didn't think I would even make it to six months let alone two years.  I doubt you will ever thank me for it, but I'm so proud to say we did it and that you are a healthy, thriving two year old thanks to our efforts.