Hospital Bed Rest

On Monday night I went to bed uncomfortable. I could feel our girl kicking, but she was pushing and moving really, really low and it was hard to sleep. I kept talking to her and rubbing my belly but she insisted somersaults were essential at 11pm. I then started to worry that maybe it was something else I was feeling. I finally made it to sleep.

I woke up Tuesday morning and found an unsightly amount of discharge. My heart sunk. I called my Dr. and they told me to head to labor and delivery. The pressure and the mucous were things they wanted to check out.

The hospital moved pretty quickly. My nurse in triage was outstanding. They ordered an ultrasound and about thirty minutes later two men entered the room to conduct my ultrasound. They saw my cervix was about 2cm open this time. I instantly burst into tears. I didn't want to hear that anything was worse. The ultrasound tech rubbed my hand and told me in his soft-spoken accent "Amy, please do not cry. You only make it worse for baby". My husband, mom, mother in law had all told me this about 100 times, but for some reason his soft way took my tears away. I let out a huge breath and relaxed.

I was then admitted to the high risk maternity ward. The on call perniatologist came into my room. I had been warned that she could be "cold" by the nurses, so I put my big girl face on when she came in. She told me that the ultrasound tech had taken the measurements differently than she had wanted, and I was really closer to 1cm. I let out a big breath. She was slightly hopeful but warned us that at 23 weeks we were still in a really rough spot.

It was surprising to me how being in the hospital calmed my nerves. They were monitoring me, had me in a deep trendelendburg position and had me using a bed side commode so I would not be walking anywhere. It felt nice knowing that I could buzz them for every single thing I felt and they were happy to check for me.

Wednesday I just laid low. My mother in law stayed by my side and tried to keep me busy. I was getting to know the bedside routine and learning more about how this hospital thing was going to work. I was feeling more pressure wednesday night so they hooked me up to the monitor to see if I was contracting. I had had 2 contractions earlier when they had checked me, but they were spread out and they insisted that was normal. On Wednesday night I was happy when they reported I had zero contractions at that hour.

The Dr. came in to tell me they were putting me on two different medicines. One was to prevent contractions from happening the other was to try to reduce the amount of fluid around the baby to take the pressure off of my cervix. They are only giving me this drug for a few days so they do not reduce the fluid by too much.

Sleeping in trendelenburg (aka on your head) is, in a word, interesting. But I'm pretty sure I would hand by my toenails right now if it meant I'd have a healthy baby.

Yesterday I had a second ultrasound with the perinatologist. Unfortunately I have now dilated to over 2cm. I was seriously so optimistic going into the ultrasound, so when she pursed her lips before telling me the news, I almost couldn't believe it. She did say there was good news. My fluid sac was still relatively high and was not bulging and had not ruptured. I tried to just focus on that news. The Dr. was pretty negative after the ultrasound and made me feel as though getting to 24 weeks would be the best I could hope for.

I was upset. My nurse came in and sat by my side and recited all of the success stories they had seen lately. I instantly felt better, remembering that there are no guarantees, that I can go further. I've made it over a week already and I know I can do more.

The nurses here could not be better. I just light up when they come in the room. So positive and two of them have actually been in my exact situation and ended up with very favorable results. So good to hear.

I have some dark moments, but I'm just focusing on all the great stories I hear. I am obsessed with getting to 30 weeks. Right now, I'm being told that is an unrealistic goal, but I've just heard too many people who have made it there or past. I have to have a goal, and that is it.