Thursday, February 27, 2014

Not liable for stolen salads. Conceal your lunch.

It's a warm fall morning in 2007 and I'm done with class and headed to a hair appointment downtown. It's about 1030am and I've packed my lunch for after, since I also have an afternoon class.

I find a spot in the parking structure and move my lunch cooler to my trunk. My car had been broken into twice at this point, the old Honda accord was just an easy target, and I suppose I was now in the habit of leaving absolutely nothing visible in my car.

My appointment takes a couple hours, and I return to the mostly empty parking structure to see my little old Honda, with the doors unlocked and a brand new scratch from a slim Jim on my drivers side door. My change drawer was emptied, but since the rest of the car was cleared out, nothing else has been touched.

Annoyed, I popped my trunk to grab the salad with barbecued chicken breast I had packed only to find my pink igloo cooler, opened and devoid of said salad. I think I about died. I looked around to see if anyone was watching. Was I on a show? Was this seriously happening? Someone stole my salad but decided the pink igloo could stay?

I didn't know whether to laugh or scream. I was on a big healthy eating kick and my first thought was that the hell am I going to eat now? Then I thought of my nice Tupperware container that the salad has been in.  How on earth had this happened? Someone had to have been watching me transport it from the car to the trunk. I was scared they may still be watching, with Succulent BBQ sauce dripping from their lip, no doubt.

I exited the lot and drove around in circles, my eyes peeled for a homeless man or a junkie eating a beautiful chopped romaine.

No luck.

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