Saturday, August 13, 2011

A letter to my daughter

Dear Baby girl,

My God you are so beautiful. I was not expecting that. I wasn't sure what you would look like. But your perfect rosebud lips, ladylike fingers and button nose were almost too much for mama to handle. Even though you were not breathing when they placed you in my arms, I felt so connected to you. I hear not all moms feel that way when they are handed their babies. Even perfectly healthy babies. I'm so glad I did. I'm so glad I recognized you as the little girl I've been chatting with for five months. The girl I felt kicking her mama every day since week 15. I knew it was you the second I laid eyes on you, my beautiful girl.

It was very hard on Daddy to see you. He thought maybe he didn't want to see you, but he was strong and he looked you over with me. You were so perfect in your miniature way. Your toenails, your elbows. Everything.

Sweetheart, I miss you already. I miss feeling you as I walk. As I sit and as I breath. I miss that hard bulge in my tummy and the feel of your jumping and turning and kicking. I miss whispering to you and singing to you as we fell asleep. I'm having trouble remembering you are no longer within me. You are supposed to still be with me.

But I know you are at peace now and looking down on me and your daddy. I know you know how much we love you and will always love you. I will still talk to you, even though you are so far away now. I will still sing with you.

Darling, you will always be my first child and will always be my mama girl.

Thank you for blessing me with 23 weeks of excitement and joy. I've never looked forward to anything the way I looked forward to you. We will continue your memory, baby girl. I love you so much.



  1. My heart is just breaking for you. Sending many prayers.

  2. I cannot even begin to express how sorry I am for your loss. I'm sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. You are an amazing mother and I'm so sorry that your family didn't have more time together.

  3. You don't know me but I stumbled upon your blog long ago when you were planning your wedding and I check up on it every once in awhile. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through but I want to encourage you to continue to write about it because you are a wonderful writer and your story is one shared by countless other women. Best wishes as you navigate through the difficult months ahead. You'll be in my thoughts.

  4. I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.

  5. Thinking about you and your family during this difficult time. So sorry for your loss..

  6. :( Words just don't fit here... but lots of love does. All the best in thoughts and prayers for you and your family... <3 a local Bee

  7. I don't have the words to express how sorry I am for your loss. I'm sending you and your family prayers, as well as many to your baby girl.

  8. Dear Amy,

    A friend told me about your blog, and I now have tears flowing down my face after reading your story. I can't imagine the heartache you and your family must be going through right now. I know that there isn't much I can say to make things any better, but please know that my heart goes out to you and that you guys will be in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*


  9. Same as Jenny, a friend pointed me your way and I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you and your husband (and your daughter) have to deal with such an incredibly terrible situation. I'm so sorry and will be sending love your way.

  10. Hi Amy,

    I just peeked in on your blog for the first time in many months. There are no words except I am so sorry for your loss *with tears in my eyes,* I am just so, so sorry. I will say a prayer for your little girl right now. Sending *hugs* and hope that you are surrounded by loved ones who will help you through this very difficult time.

  11. My heart breaks for you and your husband. I feel like there are no words that could possibly be sufficient for a situation like this, so instead I'm sending you love and hugs. Take care.