Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A heartbeat

15 April 2011

Dear Baby,

Today, I heard your heartbeat. And it changed me in so many ways. The past week has been rough. I've been having a lot of bleeding and have been very worried. I want you so much and my daydreaming has got the best of me. I just can't imagine losing you.
Our personal, on-call Dr., Auntie K told me she'd like me to go in today for an update, since I have been so worried and am still spotting. Luckily my Dr. had an opening. I was so, incredibly nervous. I had tears welling in the waiting room and could barely keep my legs from shaking as she did the ultrasound. Luckily, she found you very quickly and I saw your heart flickering immediately. I let out a huge sigh and let my tears fall for a second. When she turned the speaker on so I could hear your little heartbeat, I just couldn't help but laugh. I was so scared, and that sound just sent me over the moon.
You are about 6 weeks 4 days along, but were measuring at 6 weeks 1 day. Your heartbeat was 114bmp. That is a little low, but Dr. told me as long as it was over 100, she was pleased. She sent some pictures home for us to keep. I'm so glad I went. My mind is finally at ease. Even though it's still early, knowing you are in there and your heart is beating makes me feel at peace.

You've been making me very, very tired. Fortunately, I've had a lot of time at home this week and have been getting lots of rest. Daddy says I have the nose of a bloodhound since I can smell things from a mile away. Most smells have been making me gag and feel sick, especially in the morning. At this point, I'll take the nausea, as that's just a reminder that you are in there safe and sound!

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