Thursday, August 4, 2011

Bed [Ar]rest

We got some not so good news yesterday. After our little girls head measurement came back abnormal, my dr. sent me to a perinatologist to get her re measured to makes sure nothing was actually wrong. Turns out baby girl is measuring perfectly, but my cervix is not.

They performed a vaginal ultrasound to take a look and found that my cervix was dilated to 1cm and my fluid sac had descended. I had never met this dr. before and she was literally horrible at delivering the news. I know this is very serious, but she could not have made it seem any worse.

Unfortunately I was at the appointment alone as it was too early for B to get there from work. I cried as she told me there was zero possibility of me taking this baby to term. Our new goal was to get her to an age where she would survive and have a somewhat normal quality of life. Do you know how much that statement stung?

I was a 10lb+ baby and my hubby was over 8lbs. I have never once thought of the possibility of a preemie. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, so this whole pregnancy has been focused on making sure she doesn't get too big. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I'm pretty sure this Dr. has never been pregnant. She was so clinical and offered zero reassurance. She also advised I take a formal tour of the NICU so that I can make an informed decision on whether to keep my baby alive if she is born at a questionable age.

She told me to go on strict bed rest and to come back in a week. I am self employed so this is absolute financial devastation for us. I have no idea what we will do. I've been trying my best to save for her arrival, but I had a long way to go.

I will be 23 weeks on Monday. I'm praying she makes it to 35 weeks, but was told it's a long shot.

I'm still in shock and don't really know what to think or do. I'm home with my feet up fighting back the tears, trying to stay as calm as possible for our little girl.

8 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness I am so sorry to hear this!! I will keep you in my prayers! It's a shame the doctor was so rude to you about it, that is not necessary! I hope you are able to get the bed rest you need! Sending hugs and prayers your way! :)

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  2. Oh Amy! I am so sorry to hear that - my heart goes out to you. Please let me know if I can do anything at all to help you guys. XOXO

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  3. Prayers for you and your little miss!!! So sorry you had bad news delivered by an ogre... It'll all work out for you I hope!

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  4. Seriously thank you all so much. The only good news is there will be lots of blogging and lots of catching up on some books for me.

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  5. Oh my gosh I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this! Get yourself a second opinion though...even if the news is the same, you need a doctor who can communicate with you better.

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  6. Oh how I just froze readint this... I am so sorry please know I am prayin for you seriously honestly earnestly and your sweet girl!!

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  7. I'm so sorry your doctor was horrible at delivering the news! I agree with E @ Oh, maybe you could get a 2nd opinion somewhere? I'll keep you in my Ts & Ps.

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  8. Tears were streaminmg down my face as I read this. My heart goes out to you and B. I will pray for you and your darling little girl.

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